Sunday, March 1, 2015

Episode 4

Following the spirit through out adoption


When I was 24 I found out, after 2 years of trying to conceive with no success, that I could not and would not ever have children. As soon as the doctor told me this my mind and heart immediately turned to adoption. Before the week was through we
had sent in paper work to start the adoption process.

Our oldest, 5 year old Gracie, was in her birth mom's tummy when I found out about her. My cousin, Kaycee,  had introduced us to her friend who had adopted. When I was talking on the phone to this friend, Shannon, she brought up her friend, Jenna who was pregnant, with a girl, and due in June. As soon as Shannon said it was a baby girl, I knew it was going to be my sweet baby. Having this feeling, however, didn't take away any nervousness and roller coaster of emotion that comes along with waiting to be chosen to adopt. But wonderful Jenna did chose us and Gracie became our sweet child.

Before we applied to adopt baby number two there was a string of events that finally led us to it. I wanted another baby. Blake, my husband, wasn't ready- we both needed to be ready but I was heartbroken that he wasn't. I just needed to be patient. I thought there was no way we could afford another adoption like Gracie's so I was looking into foster care and foster-to-adopt. I never felt a peaceful feeling about it. I always felt wretched and uneasy about the thought when I would research online. Not that foster care is horrible, by any means, but it was just the spirit telling me that right now is not the time for it. So I pushed those desires to do foster care aside. But I felt at a loss again thinking we wouldn't be able to adopt any other way because it is so expensive! One day I was feeling helpless and praying to my Heavenly Father for direction. The answer hit me strong and immediately. "Apply for adoption through LDS Family Services" Blake still hadn't expressed his readiness to adopt. But I went to him in tears after my prayer and told him what I felt. He said "Go for it, babe" So we began the process for adoption for our second time. The process when quick. I felt a push and desire, beyond my own confidence, to do a fundraiser. We had a lot of support and we were able to raise half the money we needed to pay to the adoption agency. Luckily, I got in a car accident and got the money from the car to help pay too. (blessing in disguise) We also had tax returns to help us out. And we needed the help. This was going to be an expensive adoption for us. It was going to happen in Las Vegas, NV. But before he was born, we went to Oregon to meet his birth mom.

Blake served his mission in Oregon and a lady he taught and baptized still kept in contact with him. It was during the Priesthood session of conference when Blake got a call from her out of the blue. She was talking about how her boyfriend at the time had a daughter who was pregnant and wanting to place him for adoption. She told this young woman about us. I had been praying for answers for adoption to come to us during conference- I was thinking we would get a notion as to when we would adopt again and that it would be revealed through a talk or something- I don't know exactly what I was thinking but I know I wanted answers. And this was an answer. A few weeks later, after adding each other as friends on Facebook, she told us she wanted us to adopt her baby boy.

Now, joining an agency to do the adoption was key. Although we didn't have any help from the agency to find our birth mom, she ended up moving to NV before he was born and in NV they require you to have an agency to adopt. I was so thankful we listened to the promptings and applied with LDFS.

When Marshall, adopted baby number 2, was only a few months old, I got a text from Gracie's birth mom. One whom we had still kept close with through out the years. She told me she was pregnant and was hoping we would adopt her baby, again. I excitedly read the text to Blake and he and I didn't even need to think or talk to each other. We mutually knew the answer was a yes and responded right away. I was happy and grateful the spirit was able to speak to us both at the same time and we were able to answer Jenna immediately.

I've heard before "Adoption isn't for the faint of heart" This couldn't be more true. It's hard. It's trying. It takes a lot of faith. I wouldn't have been able to go through it all with out the help of my Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost.

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